I recently had an acupuncture appointment and as I was lying on the table, needles in, I noticed my mind wandering about some things that had been bothering me for the last few days. I found myself engaged in a loop of uncomfortable thoughts when I was there to relax and renew my body. I was focusing on things that, at that moment, I could do nothing about. I’ve learned enough with this coaching gig that when you’re engaging with the mind chatter you are in “problem-solving mode” and you must do something to interrupt the pattern or the negative momentum will continue. So, I yielded, took a deep breath, and started coaching myself. Asking questions like, I know what I don’t want to focus on right now, so what is it that I do want? Then, these words hit me...what am I inviting in?
So often we accentuate what we don’t want. We spend so much of our precious energy defining and declaring what’s wrong with this, what I don’t like about that, we forget to stop and ask ourselves what we do want instead. We don’t realize that we have the power to choose. How would it feel to decide that we do have control over what thoughts we want to focus on and which ones we’d like to let go? So, stop and ask yourself questions instead of attaching to the negative thought patterns. Let the “don’t want” prompt you to ask, what is it that I want to invite in instead? So often we don’t even give ourselves permission to go beyond what we know or now have. We are so accustomed to looking at what’s always been or what is right in front of us that we don’t let ourselves expand into greater possibility. We may get a flash of insight and before the idea gets off the ground, we kill it with our doubt. Let the sea of thoughts be like a buffet, choose the ones you want more of and leave the rest.
It’s so important to resist the urge to beat yourself up for having a bad day or going down a negative road in your mind. As humans, we are used to being problem solvers. We are used to fixing things. But if you want to change any circumstance that is bothering you, you must flip your energy from fix-it mode to solution mode. Solution mode means having a mindset that “all answers come to me”, “everything is always working out for me best case scenario”. It’s about stopping the moment you feel the tension when you are in problem mode and yield. Shift perspective. Remind yourself, things always work out for me and all the answers I need will come. They always do.
As humans, we are used to being problem solvers. We are used to fixing things. But if you want to change any circumstance that is bothering you, you must flip your energy from fix-it mode to solution mode.
Truth is, every time we are faced with leveling up in life, our old fears creep back in. Instead of getting lost in the fear and doubts, learn to redirect your mind. Soothe yourself. Invite in love. Our fear is really showing us what we deeply care about. It’s easy to ask that person out if you are not that into them but that person you’ve always loved, that can stir up every insecurity you didn’t even know you had! Slow the cycle of negative thoughts by reminding yourself that this is showing me something I really care about instead of getting paralyzed by the downward cycle of fear, doubt, and worry.
If you want to break the spiral of negative momentum, decide today that you’re going to shift your mindset. Begin to tell yourself a new empowering story. Choose what thoughts you want to focus on because it feels better. Because what I focus on expands. Because I have the power to sift through the data life presents me and choose what I’d prefer. Use your words to create what you want. Learn to expect things to go well for you. Break the cycle of doubt. Close the door to self-sabotage. Open the door to love. Let your mind wander to…what would I like to invite in? Because I am so worth it.