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Open the door

The sting of uncertainty. The jolt of the unfamiliar. The silent stab of the unknown. All of us have been feeling some version of these emotions with the recent events of the world. It can be jarring. For me, it’s been a mixed bag of feelings. Thankful that I have my basic needs met and then, a little uneasy about what the future holds. My mind wanders to the past...and then, to the future. I think about some choices I’ve made and wonder how many of them I made from moments of fear? How many out of love? It’s been an eye-opening several days. I really don’t have anything figured out. And, in fact, I’ve made a pact with myself to give up trying to figure it all out. I’m opting for trusting that every answer I need will come. I’m feeling like this is a wake-up call for humanity. A time to reflect on what we place importance on. What do we deny ourselves because we choose to remain locked in our own limitations? What internal fights are we engaging in within our minds? How often do we avoid the shadows inside ourselves out of fear of seeing what’s there? It’s like I’m feeling this virtual smack in the face telling me you can fight change or let it flow. I can resist or I can roll with it. When we are faced with stepping out of our comfort zone the fears we often deny rise to the surface. But if we resist motion forward, we only hold what’s been in place. If we don’t let ourselves expand into the new, we keep recreating the same relationships, same jobs, same life. Different faces, different places but the same. We so often make choices for the sake of security or familiarity that keeps us locked into things that no longer serve us. It’d be like repeating first grade over and over again because we’re afraid of what second grade will bring.

We fear change. We fear the unknown. We often numb our feelings to protect ourselves from pain.

We have a false sense of security in our familiar identity. This entire situation is prompting me to take a deeper look inside myself and see the bigger picture. It’s reminding me how little control I have over what’s going on out there and that the only real control I possess lies within my mind. Our mindset can be the difference between feeding the fear or embracing the contrast in times of stress. I think Bruce Lee said it best when he was describing the nature of life…”be water my friend.” soft and drift downstream. Fight the tide and it will fight you. Resisting anything only holds you in resistance. However, what we embrace dissolves. In order to grow, we must outgrow what no longer serves our life. I’m learning that true stability emerges from understanding that the growing pains are felt when we are called to live in a new way. So, I am reminding myself these days to say yes to life. To look back with love, to look forward with eagerness and to stay as happy as possible within the now moments. I won’t lie, this isn’t easy. I’m just learning to be gentler with life. Every time my fear rises, and I catch it, I know it’s love wanting to unfold. In a sense, there’s a virtual doorway being presented to all of us if we allow ourselves to go there. The doorway that’s being presented is one that opens to a lighter way of being. The doorway is the passage between what we have known and what is possible. If you want to know yourself in a new way, open the door. It just may be wonderful.


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